The Chronic Pain Cycle Continues...

According to the Buddhist Smartypants out there, there is always a good and a bad, light and dark, happy and sad, etc.  That's how life is balanced out : yin and yang. The good white part is pretty nifty with all the cool happy perks in the package. The bad black section is a motherfucking can of evil worms. Lately, I've had a dozen can of evil worms open up and thrown in my face.










I'm living more stress in my life in the past couple weeks and extra stress amplifies the pain in my hips. My pain meds don't work so well for the pain like before, I don't get any restful sleep and I don't have much energy for walks like I used to. I'm tired, feeling on edge and frustrated that I'm stuck in that vicious pain cycle again.









I had some shit going on at work (don't wanna talk about it here) and last Thursday, I had the brilliant idea of calling up the hospital to know were the fuck I was on the waiting list cause it's almost been 9 months of waiting now. I was told very coldly : "The wait time for your surgery has gone up to a year". And their reason for the longer wait : "We have a lot of emergency cases".
















I was disappointed and felt completely powerless. I get it that hospitals have emergency patients all the time, I just don't get why it seems that EVERYBODY is passing in front of me on the waiting list. Like I explained in a previous post, here in Canada they decided to put a max 6 month wait for old folks who need hip and knee replacements. That means everybody else (especially young adults) gets pushed aside in the orthopedic waiting lists. Now I learn that I'm getting pushed over by pretty much everybody and I'll bet my favorite pair of cozy pants that I won't get my operation in October 2013 (1 year waiting mark). I'm expecting the "Your surgery won't be before 2014" song anytime now.









I feel so sad and empty these days, it hurts so much to get disrespected and treated like you're less than human. I was out for a walk the other day to clear my mind and I saw an old lady in her late sixties/early seventies jogging on the other side of the street. I felt a terrible urge to start waving my middle finger at her, but I didn't cause she might have lost her balance, fallen and broke a hip...then my wait time would have increased by one more "emergency old folk case". 

Fuck I hate this pain!!!




~ Klau