The Waiting Game

SO YOU'RE A YOUNG ADULT WITH CHRONIC PAIN AND STILL WORKING YOUR ASS OFF KEEPING YOUR JOB? ARE YOU PAYING LOADS OF TAXES AND WAITING FOREVER TO GET SURGERY?

COME ON DOWN! YOU'RE THE NEXT PATIENT ON 

"WELCOME TO QUEBEC AND GET FUCKED EVERY WAY POSSIBLE!"

I read some blogs lately about people (Americans) who got their surgery 1 or 2 months after meeting a hip preserving orthopedic surgeon. That's great if they can get surgery in a "reasonable delay" and that it's covered by their insurance. They don't have to dodge bullets from scumbag doctors who don't want to deal with chronic pain patients. The doctors are more likely to take you seriously because you're paying them out of your pocket and they better do their fucking job or get sued a lot. I'm sure that there are scumbag doctors in the States, but they're not stretched like those in Canada. MDs in Canada are overworked, underpaid, have too many patients and they don't take the time to listen to their patients because they simply don't have the time for it!






An interesting case that was in the media lately was how Lady Gaga, after her Montreal show, decided in February to cancel the rest of her world tour and get her hip fixed. And fixed it she did...about a week later, she had surgery and was wheeled out of the hospital in a wheelchair made of 24K gold. Sounds like fantasy or sci-fi to me, but it actually happened (see picture on right).









Sometimes I wish I had the money to have my surgeries in a private facility, but 30 000$ doesn't come cheap and considering that I work my ass off every day and throw a good part of my salary to the government (taxes)...I better wait it off (for my finances and future sanity).

 *Note: Diving in a frozen ditch while wearing nothing but a tutu = Canadian version of losing your sanity











If I had seen an American MD, he or she might have taken a better patient history and might have listened more, heard me say the activities that I did and found a diagnosis faster : "elite level contact sports" + "martial arts" + "physically demanding job" = FAI. My family doctor hasn't got the foggiest idea what my personal history is and it's not like she's gonna have more time to take it anytime soon. No wonder she never came close to figuring it out and sent me to the wrong doctors for consults.

It's now been about 5½ months that I've been on a waiting list for my surgery and I have about 3 to 4 more months left to wait. It feels longer for me because I've had pain since 2009 and it just keeps feeling worse and worse. By the time I get my surgery, it'll make it a whole 5 years of symptoms and pain (bring out the champagne please so we can get drunk and forget about all of it). 

The waiting game is long and tough, I'd rather have my hips back and train for a marathon (I really hate running) than play this stupid game. I'd rather get hit by a mack truck or get cancer than have FAI. At least in those two cases you don't wait 4 years of pain for a diagnosis and 8 to 9 months to get treatment, plus the scumbag doctors have no choice but to believe you're in pain and give you something to relieve it.

I hope to get to my "Pain Relief Destination" soon before it's not longer a possibility to fix my hip or that the pain becomes permanent.



To all my fellow Canadians living with FAI and waiting on those dreaded MRI or surgery lists : hang in there and keep your stick on the ice even if our health system is faulty. 

That doesn't mean we have to give up on regaining an active life, without pain or FAI! 

*huge hugs to all the canucks reading this post*




*If you foreigners ever wondered what "Oh Canada" means...just stare long enough at these pictures and you'll figure it out...  

 

  

~ Klau

 

Life on Hold

I had a little run in with a colleague this week...well turned in to quite a row after a couple minutes. Here's how it started...

Another colleague was pointing out that we didn't have enough staff in the company available to do certain specialised work. That kind of work can only be done by the people who have done a special one week course given in another country and it costs the company a fortune to send select few people there to take it.

I jumped in and told my colleague that I have a friend who did the course but that her expertise is gone to waste. I explained that she was planning for a while to try and get pregnant somewhere in that summer and she did, about 2 weeks after doing that course. Here's where it got bad... I said that she shouldn't have taken that spot in the course "knowing" she wasn't going to be using her expertise for the next 2+ years. I know this person very well and I know that the course isn't at all in her field of interest for advancement in the company. I said to my colleagues that she totally wasted the company's money and she took the place of somebody else who might have needed the course to advance his/her career.

One of my younger colleagues barked out : "Well it doesn't mean that you're pregnant that you have to put your life on hold!!!" and she left the room before I could say anything else. It's like she just lit a fire and left. What does a fire do? Well it burns, burns and burns...and it really hurts.

I felt so demolished by those words "put your life on hold", because that's exactly how my life has been since 2009...on hold.

There's a big difference between being pregnant and having chronic pain or a chronic illness.

Pregnant women are radiant and full of joy preparing for their little bundle of joy. They have regular doctor visits and their health is checked like clockwork for 9 months to make sure they and their fetus are lollipop perfect. Their doctors are happy to see them and give them a lot of needed attention and reassurance for things to come. Most importantly of all, pregnant women (most of them) are healthy, aren't handicapped or in constant debilitating pain and are functional. 

Their pregnancy is a choice they made to create a new chapter to their lives.








When you're a chronic pain/chronic illness patient, your doctor tries everything to get rid of you. They have no empathy and try to get you out the door A.S.A.P. to avoid hearing your pain problems. Some will treat you like a nut job or a junkie trying to get pain medication. Having chronic pain forces you to drop some previously enjoyed activities and there's a of grieving done about all that is lost (friendships, relationships, etc.) 








In this case, the book of life gets a bunch of pages ripped out of the previous chapters and the next chapters aren't solely written by the person... Mr. Pain/ Mrs. Illness decides to add some shit bombs to that book of life and the story completely loses it's appeal.  




It got me angry for the rest of my day because she made me look like a selfish person and the words "put your life on hold" rang in my head all day long. I wanted to talk to her, but she kept avoiding me all day and I finally decided to forget about trying to explain myself. Besides, she has no fucking idea what it really means to put your life on hold.

I do not believe that pregnant women have their lives on hold because they can do whatever the fuck they want as long as it doesn't harm the fetus. Most of them can work full time, do physical activities, do errands, keep the house clean, cook dinner every night, prepare a nursery, etc. Some even run in marathons, yes in fucking marathons! If you compare that with someone who has a debilitating chronic illness/chronic pain for years (maybe their whole life), it's not such a bad deal to have 9 months of pregnancy and you're life isn't on hold...you're actually moving on with your life by having children and starting a family.







I secretly envy pregnant women for having that sunshiny life...cause mine has a bunch of dark clouds full of pain that come out every single day.

My life has been on hold for long enough that I have had to re-think my future plans for what to do if my hip surgeries are successful or if they don't work to restore my mobility. I have to have a plan A, plan B, plan C, etc. for just about everything in my life. 






Healthy people don't have to use so many letters in the alphabet as people with chronic pain/chronic illnesses do... usually plan A works perfectly every time for em!  








~Klau

Favourite pain busting distractions

If you have chronic pain, a chronic illness or if you live around a loved one who does, you've probably tried many techniques for pain relief. Some are alternative medicines (aromatherapy, massage, acupuncture, etc.), physiotherapy, medication (prescription or non-prescription), etc.

 *Kellan Lutz can distract me anytime...ANYTIME!

Back when I didn't have my diagnosis and the pain was starting to take over my life, I tried buckets of pain relief techniques. I was so damned desperate for pain relief (that I didn't have from my non-believing scumbag doctors at the time) that I tried a bunch of things just "hoping" it might work or do something. At least I didn't try street drugs and nobody with chronic pain should have to turn to street drugs for pain relief (I don't count medical marijuana in here, it's prescribed and doses are controlled).

Here's a list and explanations of  some things I've tried. Some are more or less effective for my kind of pain and some are completely useless. As usual, I've added a bit of humor...

1- Meditation and Qi Gong: Helps a lot after a long day at work and it calms my body down. Doesn't eliminate pain, but it relaxes my body enough to help me sleep and helps with my irritable moods. Been doing it since 2005 and it's the only thing I continued practicing from my Kung Fu days...


2- Chiropractic adjustments: Helped with my back pain (from an unfortunate Canadian activity known as "shoveling that cold white shit to get your car outta the driveway"). For my hip FAI pain, it didn't put a dent into it. On a positive note, the chiropractor was young and soft on the eyes!

3- Aromatherapy: Smell yourself better! I actually enjoy making special trips to the mall just for buying candles at Bath and Body Works. It doesn't scratch the pain, but it enhances my mood and makes my house smell like coconuts, spices, grapefruit and pine fresh. Some of those sents fool people into thinking I baked some yummy desert and they head to the kitchen and get fooled Mwahahaahaha!!!






4- Massage: I used to enjoy this soooo much until the last time in 2011 when I was too uncomfortable (from my hip pain) during the massage to really enjoy it and relax. I might try it again in a couple months, after my torn labrum and FAI on my right hip get fixed in surgery.

5- Advil and Tylenol: Tried those too much and stopped when my stomach got too irritated and started bleeding. I guess I was still on the "wishing it would go away" mode and I didn't have any support from doctors back then.

6- Antidepressants: I tried low doses of Elavil or as I call it "El Evil" for about 5 months. It helped me sleep, way too much and I stopped taking them when my pharmacist said that feeling drowsy till 10 am is an abnormal side effect. It was supposed to help with my pain, but it didn't do anything and at the time, I felt like I had no choice but to try it and hope that it would cut the pain. I was glad to be out of "Zombie Land" when I stopped "El Evil".

7- Exercise: Most chronic pain specialists (like my super physiatrist) and many websites out there that talk about how it's crucial to incorporate exercise in your treatment plan. It makes sense, the more your muscles and joints are working, the more resistance they'll have and it will also increase your stamina. This one helps in the long run. I've given up most of the sports I did because they didn't help my FAI and actually made the problem worse. Nowadays I enjoy swimming, it doesn't put too much stress on my hips and the water takes the weight off of them. When I have good days I go out for a walk, if it's too cold or icy outside I go walk at the mall (it's safer for avoiding falls plus there's a Starbucks ;) ).

8- Vitamins/Supplements: I currently take fish oil supplements (Omega 3), vitamin D, calcium-magnesium, vitamin C, Spirulina and a Multivitamin every morning. I feel a little difference on my mood. I think I was lacking a few minerals and vitamins (especially vitamin D) and taking them every day for the past month or so helps. Spirulina BTW is a blue-green freshwater algae that is rich in protein and can help boost your immune system. It also contains iron (many women like myself are deficient in iron) that helps with my energy levels.

9- Playing Video Games: It totally works! Well it doesn't eliminate the pain, but it works well to distract my mind from it. Plus it's been tested, scientifically, check it out : http://psychcentral.com/news/2010/05/10/video-games-help-relieve-pain/13660.html  

I enjoy playing World of Warcraft, Diablo III, Star Trek Online and I like the Professor Layton puzzle games on Nintendo DS.

10- Watching a good movie/reading a good book: I'm known as a crazy book monkey. I have about 4 books on my night stand and I read at least 3 books a month (better average than in my college and university days lol). I'm also a movie junkie. When I get captivated by a story, it takes my mind off the pain and it feels like I'm somewhere else. I also read comic books...everybody needs superheroes, even chicks with FAI hip pain!

11- Bananas: Yep bananas help me cope. I have a running gag at work where I have to "rescue" a banana every day before it goes to a brown spotted version of hell. Some days, my colleagues and I like to compete to see who's got the biggest banana in their lunch box lol! I also read an article saying that bananas are some of the top mood boosting foods because they contain Tryptophan...Google it, I dare you to monkey fucking google it!!!


12- Hobbies: I play cribbage almost weekly with my best bud. Sometimes we go to our favourite pub that serves artisan beer and we play a couple games while sampling different kinds of beer. I also enjoy playing music and also listening to my favourite bands. I also like playing board games on occasion.



13- Food: Firstly, I have to say that being less active than before means I have to keep my calories in check. I've been eating cleaner and healthier food in the past couple years and it's so far working for me. I eat more fruits and veggies, try different grains and organic foods plus I've eliminated junk food joints from my list of restaurants, PERMANENTLY! When I eat out, the restaurant chosen has to serve a lot of veggies on their plates and I stay away from fried foods. I do make room, on occasion, for some comfort/feel good food like Chinese Food or Poutine. However, I check what I order to avoid being disappointed of myself and regretting it later or I cook them myself at home where I know what I put in it.




14- 9GAG.com: You know how they say that laughter is the best medicine...it's all true. I discovered 9GAG through my brother (also known as best bud) and I've been an addict ever since. I love reading jokes, memes and looking at silly pictures. When I have a bad day, I turn to 9GAG or the comics section of the newspaper (actually called "Diversions" in the Gazette). It brightens my day and laughing helps with the pain. I'd rather laugh all day than cry or be grumpy all day, plus laughing at other people is soooo much fun (I'm talking about 9GAG here not people you know in real life).

I hope you've enjoyed my post and feel free to comment or write down the things you've tried for your pain. Feel free to laugh and try a banana...seriously they're awesome!!!


­~ Klau